First off, why am I starting this blog now? It was the week of October 28, 2012 and hurricane Sandy has blown through the east coast cutting off power and flooding many areas. I’m without a radio, TV, internet, lights or heat. I finally managed to charge my laptop but I don’t want to drain the battery mostly playing games.
I’ve got all this pent up energy to vent so I’ve decided finally to actually keep a promise to myself - to express observations that have always puzzled or amazed me. Maybe even find some solutions to the puzzles.
That being said, lets get back to the question, ‘do you want a piece of this?’ To many, this may seem to be a straight forward question, depending on your up-bringing. A simple yes or no response would probably suffice in most instances.
Me, I grew up in the type of neighborhood where this statement meant, ‘let’s get it on.’ You have either the clear choice of jumping back to defend yourself, or rushing in with fists swinging. Never a question of the options.
But, I’ve since migrated through higher education to eventually participate in a more cosmopolitan society. This same question might now be interpreted as a generous offer to be followed by either a polite, ‘no thank you’ or palms stretched forward with an appreciative smile.
Although the question is addressed to you, it has been my personal challenge to work through the myriad of such mixed signals continually buffeting me. Now, perhaps you can begin to see where the confusion might set in, being influenced by both these worlds. Add to this my genetic code of always having a different drum beat pounding loudly in my head, oblivious to the various melodies surrounding me. It’s kind of like texting while walking. I find myself, much too often, looking around surprised at the obvious mis-steps thinking, ’is it me or them that’s off beat?’
I often believe that I truly might actually ‘want a piece of this’ but am continually watchful for the risk of simply being sucked in to something regretful. Do I move forward with a smile, jump back or walk away?
The one item I am very clear about is the value of humor as a tremendous aide in my coping process. It is a challenge for someone to laugh or scream at you if they are busy laughing with you, no guarantee of course. I have actually bumped into people where laughter escapes from them like an unexpected fart in a crowded elevator. They even manage to look surprised or embarrassed by the moment. Only adds to my confusion.
I assure you, by the way, this is going someplace. Just hang in there for this journey we’re taking together.
So, how do I cope. I’m always looking for outside cues to determine the proper flow of things. Much like waiting for someone else to laugh at that joke(?) before I heartily join in. Sometimes it might be easier to resist any temptation of being caught off guard by simply saying, ‘to hoot with the whole thing.’
In my continual quest for clarity and understanding of this puzzling world, I figure what better way than to share my story as a blog. Hopefully you guys will pitch in, where you feel the need, to share your thoughts, comments, questions and experiences. Together, we might determine which way the world is turning (or should be turning :-) and how we might make better use of it.
I strongly ask that your replies consider a few points:
- your comments are not derogatory or inflammatory, we are here to communicate and not vent
- they are honest, made-up stuff is a turn off
- they are hopefully informative and/or constructive, we’ll receive more thoughtful replies this way
- humor is a big plus if it helps get the message across better
- feel free to suggest topics we can all learn from, a no-brainer
TOPIC: the Oh-yeah Kid:
Around late elementary into middle-school age I often found myself either watching or being a part of talking trash at an opponent. It was always fun watching and screaming out our collective glee over the rising chatter flowing back-N-forth, until I would find myself on the receiving end. As soon as it was my turn to reply about my apparent ugliness or fatness or stupidness, my sharpest retort was too often, oh yeah, oh-yeah!?!
Needless to say, the crowd would see tons of blood draining from my body and they, along with my opponent turned away totally satiated. Stranded alone, I’d wander off to home spending the entire night reliving my defeat and rehearsing various retorts until I nailed the best responses. Loaded with verbal ammunition, I’d rush back to school looking for my (now) victim from yesterday. It took several episodes for this oh-yeah kid to realize that the moment has long past, not even existing anymore as my classmates are now focused on a new day.
The question is, did I want a piece of these episodes. Did I ultimately gain or lose in my growing years? Your thoughts?
It would seem, if I could take something away from this, is being a day late..dollar short, as they say. We never have that opportune moment of expressing our feelings, but in hindsight we kick ourselves and become 'wordy' with thoughts of retort. Almost like clanging the noise makers on Jan. 2nd, and not on the eve. A bell rung, if even in our heads should suffice as an inward acknowledge of who we are, and that we don't have to defend what, where, or how we do things. We can walk away and be the bigger victor, and celebrate that truth.
ReplyDeleteAgain, the ongoing challenge of determining if, 'is it me or the world around me that's upside down.'
DeleteI got hit on the heard with a gun during a restaurant robbery a couple of years ago and although my processing was gentle it took months to complete it. I simply was not anticipating such an event in my life and had no self-story for it. Finally the meaning of the event became an invitation to look at ALL the things I am not expecting in my life. Thus the event has turned into a great gift of being newly alert to my vast interactions in this rapidly changing world, and life is much more fascinating now. And I am definitely more prepared to welcome the next wake-up intrusion that "hits me on the head"!
ReplyDeleteI have found that Mother Nature does provide second chances via three warning levels:
Delete1. whispers in your ear (too often not noticed by the hard-of-hearing)
2. hits you on your head (many will simply take a headache pill)
3. knocks you flat on your back (try to avoid this one)
Unfortunately, the forth and final option is too late for any response. I guess our lives are determined by how well we respond to Mother's Nature's warning levels. It's clear that you are a better person from your experience and better prepared for your future. Let's hope you sustain fewer hard-knocks as you are increasingly attuned to Life's whispers.
On a somewhat lighter note, this happens to me more than I would care to admit. And it is not just in tense situations where I think of a great comment/come-back after the fact, but also in work and social situations where I think of a great comment/question/joke after a meeting or conversation ends. While it is a bit of a let-down to not be able to shine with a good comeback, I do agree with Debra that there is something to be said about walking away and being the bigger victor.
ReplyDeleteGreat blog, can’t wait to read more!
Very good point. Grown up 'kids' also experience the same trash talk. The unsaid statement can often be much more powerful vehicle moving along the high-road path.
DeleteThis was an entertaining read, Joseph. It reminded me of days I'd long forgotten: I was the "string bean" and "Iceberg Slim." I probably created the "iceberg" persona as a defense mechanism for the ribbing about being skinny.
ReplyDeleteBack then, as most of us, I identified myself as my physical body. An attack on it was an attack on me. Glad I grew out of that phase--and yes, glad that middle-age spread was like going through puberty belatedly. Perfect timing! LOL
I have to say, from what I note about you and see of you via your publications, you have certainly metamorphosed from a caterpillar into a true butterfly. If others could gain half as much as you, via a similar rite-by-passage, they'd too would likely be a different quality persona.
DeleteJoe, what a wonderful time to start a blog! Look at this as a new adventure in your life. I enjoyed reading your blog, you kept it entertaining and simple. Looking forward to more! some people go though life with a look that say's 'do you want a piece of this? Once a bully sometime's may always be a bully, they are so unhappy with who they are.
ReplyDeleteI guess hurricane Sandy was challenging me on whether I wanted a piece of the moment, to sit in the cold dark while waiting for the heat and light to come back on or, become proactive and make the moment happen.
DeleteOn the topic of Hurricane Sandy reflection, I think the hurricane showed me how much closer we all are to living life far less comfortably than we'd care to admit or recognize on a daily basis. They say the majority of people are no more than 3 paychecks away from homelessness & I think the storm showed demonstrated that when you strip away what many in other countries would consider "modern comforts," but that we, in this country, have grown to see as basic necessities, people's fight or flight instincts kick in. We are used to having heat & electricity, running water, and now internet & electronic media at our fingertips, and by proxy, human contact via these resources. Because we have grown used to these things, we are probably less hearty than our cavemen ancestors were - it is the fine line and the juggle/struggle between how to use these for the greater good in our lives, but not let them overpower us. What did we do before the internet existed? Before cell phones, Facebook, Twitter, Instagram & Pinterest? The world was around long before any of us arrived in it & people got by somehow, but we have re-acclimated to the modern day society in which we live. You're so right, Joe - the question, "Do I want a piece of this" is something I struggle with daily, as it's a balancing act of how much/how big of a piece of the internet, constant connectivity & electronic media I want to allow in my life. I am grateful to you for opening up your mind to us in this venue & allowing us to peer in at your thoughts, while using these resources to promote a dialogue that would not happen otherwise.
ReplyDeleteLinda, you've provided a very proactive and challenging response. Too many of us are unhappy because we feel we are helplessly subjected to the various currents flowing around us. Unfortunately, there are people who may truly have no viable choices in life. However, I suspect the majority of us have the option to be pro-active, re-active or simply in-active in our very busy world.
ReplyDeleteWe may complacently go-with-the-flow simply because it's convenient for the moment and may only realize the issues we take for granted after experiencing something that forcefully bumps us out of our daily stupor.
I am making a more conscious effort to keep in touch with my friends and family, to actually hold and read a real book, to remind special people that they are special, and to laugh.