This story is really meant to be seen by men only, as women may gain an unfair advantage if they became aware of this method. So ladies, please close immediately and move on.
Now that we men can be assured of privacy, we can discuss the dating concern of how can we get a better sense of what a woman is really like. During the early dating period, we are perfectly aware that we will likely perform niceties that may not fairly represent our true character.
Opening the door or pulling out the chair might be two common examples. This stuff generally will last a few months, at best. And this, of course, is OK…even to be expected.
However, these same rules don’t apply for women and we are very much concerned about being sucked into a bottomless sink-hole. We continually look for clues and establish tests that may reveal the true character of the woman we’re dating.
What’s she hiding? What is she really like? What am I missing? Why is she still single?
To address these questions is the sandwich test, specifically designed of rmen. It’s very simple yet quite revealing in characterizing a woman’s true nature.
Ask her to fix a sandwich for you.
Several points that are essential to this test:
1. this test is not a matter of who does the cooking (or not) in the relationship.
2. not important what type of sandwich it is
3. not important how hungry you might be (for this test)
What is important is, does she:
1. take the time to actually create a sandwich (there are women, besides men that do NOT, under any condition touch food unless they are about to immediately eat it). This test is not about to happen.
2. do she ask if you have a preference for the type of sandwich (hot/cold, open face, type of bread, meat type or any condiments on the sandwich)?
3. does the sandwich appear slapped together or neatly prepared?
What’s critically important is the effort she puts in making the sandwich. During the preparation, does she fight the request or work at it (bang things around and mumble under her breath, or share with you the progress)? Does she show enough interest in your request to ask how you would prefer the sandwich and makes the effort to accommodate your requests?
Again, it could be a simple bologna sandwich. This is ok. The critical issue is, this stage of the relationship is probably at its best between you both. Any improvements will happen only because of mutual desire and effort to work at it.
If an easy request is highly problematic, is this a fair indictor of more challenging issues that will likely occur in any relationship?
During my dating days, I watched a young lady finish off the old carton of milk into my glass and poured the freshly opened milk for herself. It was my last date with her.
Is this sandwich test too harsh and superficial or, is it a fair indicator of the bigger picture? Looking to hear your thoughts and experiences.
Ladies, if you are willing to share your version of the sandwich test, please let me know :-)
How this all began:
First off, why am I starting this blog now? It was the week of October 28, 2012 and hurricane Sandy has blown through the east coast cutting off power and flooding many areas. I’m without a radio, TV, internet, lights or heat. I finally managed to charge my laptop but I don’t want to drain the battery mostly playing games.
I’ve got all this pent up energy to vent so I’ve decided finally to actually keep a promise to myself - to express observations that have always puzzled or amazed me. Maybe even find some solutions to the puzzles.
That being said, lets get back to the question, ‘do you want a piece of this?’ To many, this may seem to be a straight forward question, depending on your up-bringing. A simple yes or no response would probably suffice in most instances.
Me, I grew up in the type of neighborhood where this statement meant, ‘let’s get it on.’ You have either the clear choice of jumping back to defend yourself, or rushing in with fists swinging. Never a question of the options.
But, I’ve since migrated through higher education to eventually participate in a more cosmopolitan society. This same question might now be interpreted as a generous offer to be followed by either a polite, ‘no thank you’ or palms stretched forward with an appreciative smile.
Although the question is addressed to you, it has been my personal challenge to work through the myriad of such mixed signals continually buffeting me. Now, perhaps you can begin to see where the confusion might set in, being influenced by both these worlds. Add to this my genetic code of always having a different drum beat pounding loudly in my head, oblivious to the various melodies surrounding me. It’s kind of like texting while walking. I find myself, much too often, looking around surprised at the obvious mis-steps thinking, ’is it me or them that’s off beat?’
I often believe that I truly might actually ‘want a piece of this’ but am continually watchful for the risk of simply being sucked in to something regretful. Do I move forward with a smile, jump back or walk away?
The one item I am very clear about is the value of humor as a tremendous aide in my coping process. It is a challenge for someone to laugh or scream at you if they are busy laughing with you, no guarantee of course. I have actually bumped into people where laughter escapes from them like an unexpected fart in a crowded elevator. They even manage to look surprised or embarrassed by the moment. Only adds to my confusion.
I assure you, by the way, this is going someplace. Just hang in there for this journey we’re taking together.
So, how do I cope. I’m always looking for outside cues to determine the proper flow of things. Much like waiting for someone else to laugh at that joke(?) before I heartily join in. Sometimes it might be easier to resist any temptation of being caught off guard by simply saying, ‘to hoot with the whole thing.’
In my continual quest for clarity and understanding of this puzzling world, I figure what better way than to share my story as a blog. Hopefully you guys will pitch in, where you feel the need, to share your thoughts, comments, questions and experiences. Together, we might determine which way the world is turning (or should be turning :-) and how we might make better use of it.
I strongly ask that your replies consider a few points:
- your comments are not derogatory or inflammatory, we are here to communicate and not vent
- they are honest, made-up stuff is a turn off
- they are hopefully informative and/or constructive, we’ll receive more thoughtful replies this way
- humor is a big plus if it helps get the message across better
- feel free to suggest topics we can all learn from, a no-brainer
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